she was so not down for the gang bang
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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