you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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