Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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