Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
