we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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