No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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