Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
