The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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