Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
