I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
