Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
