So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize