we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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