I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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