Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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