Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just found a bag of teeth...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
3 2 1 whiskey
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
