Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
