omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
