I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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