i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You left your phone here
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