He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
