seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
