just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
