I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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