We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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