i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
