So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The Olympian is in my bed
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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