This girl is more easily done than said...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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