He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
