How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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