i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
