dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
