no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
