you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
