I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
