she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
