is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
