so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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