i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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