He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
