"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Houston, we have a squirter
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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