from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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