I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
