where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
