she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
