Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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