I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
