yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
