Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
as a side note pls kill me
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
