wakey wakey hands off snakey
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
