So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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