so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
