her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
