why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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