The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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