she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
