If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
A+ Viking dick
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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