my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Actions speak louder than pants.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
