it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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