so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
