I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
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Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
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We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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