Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
