she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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