nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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