these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
