At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
